When you think of someone who has had an abortion, what comes to mind? For many people the first images that might come to mind may be of someone who is promiscuous, selfish, young, single, and/or irresponsible.
Samantha’s story highlights that there is not one image of WHO gets an abortion and the difficulty in choosing an abortion when that choice comes with society’s stereotypes. When Samantha shared with others that she was getting an abortion, some people questioned her; asking her, “Why are you getting an abortion? Aren’t you marrying this guy?” Samantha’s decision to obtain an abortion was seemingly unexpected since she didn’t fit the stereotype. The media doesn’t portray images of individuals like Samantha getting an abortion. Even Samantha herself didn’t think that she would ever choose to get an abortion. Many people in Samantha’s life believed that she should have felt happy that she was pregnant since she was in a committed relationship. However, Samantha made a different choice for herself. She chose to have an abortion in order to live the life she was creating for herself. Samantha and many women like her should have the opportunity to make this choice. This choice could mean continuing a pregnancy or it could mean terminating one.
In her story, Samantha also shared that she struggled with that lies she would need to tell her co-workers since she didn’t want to tell them that she was obtaining an abortion. Abortion is not something that is openly talked about, especially in the workplace. So it is understandable that Samantha felt conflicted about sharing her personal choice to have an abortion with her co-workers. When I listened to Samantha’s story, I asked myself, why is there a silence around abortion if abortions are happening on a daily basis? Why is the word abortion still a “dirty” word? How can something so common be so taboo? I wondered about the reaction that Samantha would have received if she had been more candid about choosing to get an abortion. Surprised? Supportive? Angry?
While I believe that we should be discussing abortions more frequently, isn’t this a private matter that is decided on and done behind closed doors? Yet by listening to Samantha’s story, what I came to understand was the importance of not feeling alone and of talking honestly about making the choice to obtain an abortion. What if her experience was normalized? What if she had felt comforted, understood, and supported? Think of how many other people have probably felt like Samantha. Through the sharing of abortion stories, people may start to feel safe enough to share their experiences with loved ones, friends and other people in their lives. When people start sharing their stories on public platforms, such as The Abortion Diary, and we all start listening, we can all make a difference in experiences of people who choose to have an abortion.
stay sharing. be daring.
Listen to Samantha’s story here.